Everything goes too bad recently. Oh no, maybe not just since recent times, things are getting worse. I can't get involved in studying, in playing, actually even can't concentrate to live. There seems to be something that disappeared or broke? I don't know exactly, but living becomes actually harder and the purpose of living is fading. I know this kind of thinking is poisonous, but I cannot do anything to get me out of this terrible circle...Maybe this is the normal state of struggling?