First of all, I'd like to say I'm really sorry for your loss. Dealing with the death of someone close to you is never easy. I know. But I also know that battling cancer for four years is really tiresome. You can only hope your friend finally got some peace. I'm really bad at giving advice and I don't have much to say but, how about some change? Maybe you can take some days off and just idk visit a member of your family at the other side of the country or whatever? Try new things. Life can be super hard at times, but it's definitely worth living. And in my case, time did heal my wounds. Hope someday the same could apply for you.
That said. Although I'm really busy with college and often forget this site even exists, do feel free to talk to me if you ever need me.